Into the trash goes my sleep apnea machine!

I know, I know, if not for you, I wouldn't have woken up more refreshed. I heard the doctor who told me I stopped breathing for 96 seconds during a sleep study, even though I didn't think I fell asleep for that long. Yes, I read that my oxygen saturation levels dropped into the low 70's when they should have been 95% or better. Of course I remember when my dog Riley scratched at my face one night before you arrived, because I stopped breathing for so long I even scared him. Sure, if not for you, I wouldn't have stopped snoring 35 pounds ago. And yes, Amy loved it when you came, because the bed stopped shaking from my house rocking snore.........and she knew I'd wake up in the morning.

But I'm done with you.

Not ungrateful, just done. Take your lifesaving properties elsewhere.....The Big Sexy is finito! Truth be told, I couldn't stand you. I hated the way you felt. I hated the noise you made. I hated that I needed you to know I'd keep breathing when I slept. I hated smelling my bad bed breath from the night before each time I put the mask on.

Here's what I really appreciate.....you helped me get my shit together. You helped motivate me to find a better way. And at this point, the game is over and the truth comes out.......

The veggies kicked your ass.

Onward and downward!