It's been four months and I'm still plant strong. No digressions other than the "non-dairy" creamer that has fuckin' dairy.....and I didn't finish that cup of coffee once Mrs. Sexy re-read the non-dairy ingredients. Other than that, 100% plant strong. I've had a couple of challenges, even a health setback...but I'm still here.

There's only one problem.....

I've hit a wall. I know, I know, I said a few weeks ago I was going to break through. I haven't. Some of you have struggled to regain your health and struggled with your weight, yet you've done EVERYTHING RIGHT!  I haven't!

I've had a vodka on the rocks most nights.
I've had my non-dairy ice cream most nights.
I've eaten too much dinner.

Nights are my struggle. It's when my stress challenges my path.

My past demons from a life lived as a fat shit are coming back...seeping back....and I'm getting frustrated.

Worse, I feel like an absolute asshole about it. Only a week ago, I learned that my health was good and my fears behind me. Yet here I am, tempting fate, staying chunky, and not sticking to my plan.

Soooooooooooooooooooooo...what do I do.
  • I can buy duct tape and apply it to my pie hole.
  • I can keep telling myself "tomorrow I'll do better".
  • I can keep rationalizing bad behavior by pointing to the positives.
    • I'm exercising more regularly than I have in my adult life.
    • I'm still eating vegan.
    • I'm still feeling great.
    • My health metrics still looks good.
    • My waist is still 5-6 inches below where I started.
    • I'm still down about 45-50 pounds.
    • I made it through Thanksgiving and I know I'll stand my ground through the holidays
....but I want to keep gaining ground.

I'm not where I'm meant to be....where I want to be. I'm not at a healthy point that gives me my best chance to enjoy every minute of my new lease on life...every one of my kids' milestones....every smile that Amy means for me....every person that I can help.

So....Factoid Dave.... DC Heidi....Coach Jude....Charlean.....Britttttttta........all my other partners in health....please, enlighten me. Tell me a story. Give me a fact (Dave). Remind me what I can do to do what I must.

Fat Jonny is swinging away at Big Sexy......and Big Sexy needs to kick his ass. This is a self imposed plateau. What should I do to keep going Onward and Downward. What's worked for each of you.

Tell me a story. The floor is yours.

Onward and Downward.....but I need to pick up some damn speed!

(BTW, sorry about last nights post. I thought it sucked.)